Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad
by Night Songs 93
Summary: Drake forces Josh to realize his feelings for him. DrakexJosh slash... Reviews are love.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I claim no ownership... dammit. **Notes**: Title pretty much sums it up. It's from this beautiful Def Leppard song of the same title. _What makes it beautiful?_ The fact they are singing about someone they _love, want, _and_ need desperately_ - **and** **not **_**just**_** for sex** - but cannot have. Hence the inspiration.

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It was driving Drake crazy. Every day for nearly a month, Josh was running to the mailbox, bumping anyone in his way. After a while everyone gave up, but Drake couldn't let go.

Per his usual routine, when whatever he was waiting for hadn't arrived, he lay the mail on the table and went straight to the room he and Drake share.

"Doesn't this..." Drake started, and then bit his lip. When no one responded, he ran for their room, only to find he had been locked out.

"Josh?!"

Nothing.

"Josh! Open up! It's my room..."

"What are you doing?" Megan had snuck up on him.

"Josh locked the door and he's not answering..."

"Eew." She shuttered.

"Eew?"

"Yeah, usually when a teenage boy locks himself up... eew."

Drake thought for a moment; that should have disgusted him, the thought of Josh... but... he shook it off.

"I'm out of here." She declared.

"Wait!"

"_What_?"

"Can you get me in?" He asked sheepishly. The thought of Megan being able to crack into anything frightened him, but his curiosity was getting the better of him. He wasn't kidding when he told Josh he worried about him. Without a word, she marched to the bathroom and came back with a simple hair pin.

Drake tried to get a closer look, when she nudged him back, "A magician never gives away their secret!"

After a few seconds the lock clicked. Megan took off for fear of what may be beyond the once locked door.

Drake slowly made his way in and lightly shut the door.

Josh was sprawled on the couch, flipping the phone around.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" He answered so softly, it was almost inaudible.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Could have fooled..."

"Look, if I didn't get accepted, I didn't get accepted!" He burst, almost in tears.

Drake flinched back, "_Accepted_? This is about a school?! Are you crazy?! You can get into _any_..."

"This isn't about a school."

"_What_?!"

Josh took Drake by the arm and sat him down, though he himself continued to pace.

"Don't tell mom and dad... not yet anyway..."

"Ok..."

"I didn't apply to a school."

"Are you kidding? Then _what_?"

"It's this program... Mindy and I... I just got off the phone with her and she already got accepted and I..."

"Mindy? Mindy talked you into not applying to school?!"

"No. I talked myself into it. I want this program so bad, I didn't think about a school. Now if I don't get in, I'm out of luck at least for another year."

Drake sat up in disbelief. This didn't sound like his 'all-together-so-sure-of-his-future' brother, "So what kind of program is this it's so important

Josh took a breath and calmed down enough to sit. With another quick breath, he began to explain, "I'd be gone a year... maybe two..." Was all Drake got out of what became almost an hour of 'good will', and 'traveling across'...

"_Africa_?!" Drake stood to walk off what had to have been the hardest news he'd ever have to take in. "_Africa_?!" Was all he could say.

"And Asia..."

"_Josh_?!" He cried, "A _year_?! _Two_?!" Before he could catch himself, he was in full blown tear mode, "_Asia_?!"

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" Josh asked, half laughing/concerned, "I expect this from mom... even _dad_, but _you_?!" He attempted a hug, when he found himself pushed away, "Drake..."

"_You_... y-you... _don't_..." He sobbed, falling back into the couch.

"You're scaring me." Josh said, getting very serious.

"At least with school," He sobbed into the cushions, then came up for air to finish, "you'd be coming home for breaks and holidays!" This was not the reaction Josh had expected.

"You know, I really thought you'd be happy. You'd be getting your room back..."

"_Our_ room." Drake's voice cracked."Fine. But I also thought maybe you'd be happy for me. I'll be out doing some good for this world..."

"Yeah," Drake got up and into Josh's face, "a million miles away, no way of coming home..."

Josh let a sarcastic little laugh and started out the door, Drake close behind. But he was not leaving before giving Drake something to think about. He turned to find Drake still in his face. "I forget sometimes who I'm talking to." He said, waiting for any kind of reaction. When he got none, he shut the door before Drake could follow him out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I claim no ownership... dammit.

"... Drake... _selfish_..." Josh mumbled under his breath, stomping his way up to Mindy's door. She must have known he was coming, she answered before he even rang the bell. It gave him the creeps sometimes how she could be psychic like that.

"Hey, sweetie!" He said through clenched teeth.

"Joshie!" She swayed up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, then quickly dropped her arms back to her sides, "What's wrong?"

"W-what? What are you..."

"Please, you can't fool me..."

"_IIII __knowwww_." He whined/stuttered, stumbling in past her.

"You'll hear from them soon, you'll get in!"

"I'm not worried about not getting in..."

"Then what...?"

"No." He sternly told himself, "I _won't_ do this... the _selfish_..." He added under his breath.

"Drake."

"Yeah, I told him and he's just being... being a..."

"Drake." She said again, cutting him off trying to keep the air clean in case of parentals, "I didn't think you were telling anyone yet."

"I wasn't. He's a hard one to keep things from. _Every time_ I turn around he's _there_."

Mindy thought about that one; it was true. Especially after the whole Josh being done with him. No. It started even before then. If she remembered right, there were times he'd _ditch_ a date for _Josh_.

No. What was she thinking? Drake the 'lady killer'... but then...She took his arm and dragged him into the study where they could be at least semi-alone.

"You ok, sugar-pop?" Josh's voice brought her back.

"Y-yeah! Yeah, fine as I can be!" She laughed it off, the whole idea; they were brothers! Brothers are there for each other, that's all. Brotherly love.

"So, he didn't take it well?"

"No. I don't know what I'm going to do with him." He fell back on the couch, pulling her into his lap, "Mindy, he _cried_."

"He... _cried_? The _great_ Drake..._cry_?" Now she knew there was something more going on with him than just 'brotherly' love.

"Yea, you weren't there for his melt down in chemistry that day..."

"No, but word does get around. I heard he was upset, but to actually _cry_?"

"Yeah, he cried that day too. Upset as I was, I felt so bad..."

She stood, arms crossed, and eye brows raised. Josh knew this look; he was going to be quizzed.

Hoping it was a change in subject, he sat up with his 'Bring it on, I did my studying' look.

"_Joooosssh_...?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"Tell me, have you ever known him to cry before?" Unfortunately, she was sticking with it.

"You know, I don't _think_ so. Why?"

"So you're saying the only two times he's been known to cry, was _for you_?"

He blinked hard a few times, completely unaware of where Mindy was going with her interrogation.

"Yea, I guess so... ok, sure."

She let a deep sigh and sat next to him, taking his hand in hers.

_Please don't make me have to spell this out_, "Josh, _think_ about this. _Hard_..."

"'k..."

She let another sigh, taking his chin in her hand forcing him to look her in the eye.

"Josh, think; all the nice things Drake has done for you lately, all the time he spends with you... _crying_ because you stopped speaking to him only for three weeks, and now you're _leaving him_... _again_."

"Yeah, he's kinda pushing it with the being nice to me thing after I stopped speaking to him..."

How could someone so smart be so clueless?

"Mmm. Think of a good reason he could hate me so much..."

"You tried to have him expelled."

"Ok, think of another reason..."

"You're mean to him."

She threw her hands up, dropped them into her lap, and then jumped up to shut the doors to the study. _Ok, I have no choice. Just say it_, "Josh, he's _jealous_..."

"_What_?! He has plenty of girlfriends, why would he..."

"_Will you let me finish_!" She exclaimed throwing her hands up in frustration, sending him back into the couch, hand across his chest in shock, "Your brother is in _love_ with you!"

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Drake stayed in their room waiting for his parents and Megan to leave for the day. He knew he must have looked awful, there was no hiding puffy red eyes save for a pair of sunglasses.

He lay on his bed, tossing a tennis ball against the ceiling when a knock at the door sent him diving under his covers.

"Yeah?"

Audrey cracked the door to peek in, "We're leaving."

"Ok. See ya." he answered sharply.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. Fine. See ya."

"O...K. Later." she started to leave, but there was something not right. She was concerned.

"Drake?"

"_What_?!" He shot up from under the covers, minding the fact he couldn't look at her for the tears still welling up.

His harsh tone taking her aback. She shrugged it off and simply chalked it up to his mood.

"Are you and Josh fighting again?"

"What? No. Why? I'm fine. He's fine. We're all fine. Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Now _listen_..." She could feel herself begin to boil inside. Taking a second to cool off, she tried again, "I'm just worried. Josh left here in such a huff; not a word, just out the door. _Slam_! Just like that. And then you haven't been heard from..."

"We're fine, mom." He said in a calmer tone, "We're fine." he repeated, trying to assure himself. Audrey wasn't sure what else she could say, and he was right, they had somewhere to be and if he wasn't going to open up to her anyway...

"Ok." She kept her eye on her obviously hurt son as she left, watching him slide back under his covers. _I thought he could talk to me_, She thought.

Herself now hurting, she shut the door and left him.


	3. Chapter 3

Mindy stood firm, arms crossed, foot tapping. She usually found Josh's laughter cute and endearing, and he was, _very_, cute and endearing, _but_...

This time, for the last five minutes straight, she just wanted to strangle him.

"_Josh_..."

"Wh... wh... I-I..."

"I'm _serious_!"

"I-I can't... can't breathe!" He was laughing so hard, he had doubled over off the couch, "You're funny!" He squealed.

"J_oooooo_sh..." She pouted, stomping her foot.

He tried his best to catch his breath and cool it.

He stayed on the floor, flat on his back trying to collect himself.

"Ok. I'm sorry." He could taste the blood as he bit his lip trying to keep from laughing again.

She straddled him, not giving a second thought to her skirt flaring out just over his face, staring daggers he could almost feel pin him to the floor.

Josh tried to keep his focus on her and not the cute pink panties now in plain view. He could feel sweat beading along his temples as blood rushed from his brain.

"What are you doing?" He asked, chest caving in, eyes dodging between her and _her_.

"I'm being serious."

"Oh... yeah _that_..." He managed to turn his head away from the view, though his eyes refused to take the hint., "Well, uh, Mindy..."

"_Yes_?" She leaned forward, her V-neck top now open ever so slightly. Hand behind her ear, "I'm listening."

"I mean," _Aw man, she's __ganna__ kill me_, "... this is Drake we're talking about and you really need to step away from me like that please!" He begged.

"Promise not to laugh anymore?"

"I _swear_ on my _life, please_!" He'd never felt so tortured, embarrassed... aroused...in his life. _Evil temptress_.

As he regained his senses, he pulled himself back onto the sofa, pulling her down with him.

"Look, this is _Drake_ we're talking about right? The same guy who tried to convince me to _dump_ you when _you_ told me you _loved_ me..."

"_What_?" She asked darkly, the look in her eye almost demon like.

"Nothin'. Never mind." He whined.

"Ok, and why do you suppose that is, Josh? Maybe because _he's_ in love with you..."

"Mindy, he's _not_ in _love_ with _**me**_!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, "We're _brothers_..!"

"Not by _blood_."

"You know what? I want to drop this,** NOW**, ok." He said sharply, sticking Mindy with every word.

"Ok. Fine. But for when the time comes, and _it will_, I think I'll get it over with now," She stood and sashayed around the room, smugly singing, "_I told you so_! _I told you so_!"

Josh couldn't take it. For as indignant as she was being, she was being just as cute.

He jumped up, grabbing her as she passed, thrusting her hips to his.

"So, yea, those panties are _awfully_ cute..." He said smoothly.

"My best pair." She said with what seemed to Josh a 'yea-come-and-get-it' smile.

"So, uh, h-how _alone_ d-do you think we are now?" He choked.

"Not alone enough for _that_." She said firmly, pushing him away.

"Aw, man... she's KILLING me!"

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Drake couldn't take much more feeling sorry for himself. He forced himself out of bed, stumbling down the stairs to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, he felt his stomach wretch.

"Not hungry." He said to himself, "Ok, watch some TV."

In one fluid move, he swiped the remote off the table and made a flying leap onto the couch.

Settling in, he went to push the button, but it seemed his finger had a mind of its own.

"Come _on_! I need _something_ to get my mind off things and stop _talking to myself_!"

He threw the remote across the couch.

Frustrated, he lay back to stare at the ceiling.

"At least it's a different ceiling."Aggravated with himself, he grabbed a cushion and bit into it.

After a few seconds of chewing on a cushion that tasted of he didn't want to know, a sudden thought jolted him to his as fast as his legs could carry him, he dashed to the mailbox.

_Please, be right! Or not!_

He took hold of the handle, but again, struggled.

"Come _on_! _Open it_!"

He shut his eyes tight and flung it open.

Keeping his eyes shut, he leaned in, sliding his arm all the way to the back.

There it was. Scrunched against the back of the mailbox.

_Josh must just reach in the front_, He thought, walking back to the house.

Josh had been accepted, he could _feel_ it through the envelope.

He stood for a while, just staring at it. Anger and hurt rising, he gripped it tight, stopping short of ripping it to pieces.

Instead, before realizing what he was doing, he opened it.

"'Dear Mr. Nichols'... _pheh_... 'Con...gratula...tions...'"

He felt like he'd just been kicked. The sudden pang of hurt in his chest overwhelmed him. He couldn't move. The front door being thrown open didn't even budge him.

This letter, this _damned_ piece of paper confirmed it all; Josh would be leaving.

Having forgotten their invitations, Walter burst in walk/jogging, "Can you believe, get half way there and..." When the unfamiliar sound of his step-son crying stopped him cold. "Drake?" Drake stayed put, his face buried in the letter."_Drake_?! What's _wrong_?!" He grabbed Drake by the shoulders and shook him, trying to bring him to.

When Drake looked up, what Walter saw shocked him. This was not the arrogant, sure of himself _teenager_ he'd come to know and love as his son.

This was a flushed, puffy eyed, scared _child_.

Drake couldn't speak. Falling into Walter's chest, he continued to cry.

"_What is wrong_?! _What._..?!"

"Dad..." He said softly.

_Dad_, "Drake? _Please_..."

"I don't want him to go!" He sobbed.

"Walter, what is taking so long... Drake?! What happened?! Walter?!" Audrey ran for her son, trying to get him to look at her, but he stayed firmly clutched to Walter.

Walter shrugged. He didn't know what to say when the letter scrapped across his face.

Drake had a good grip on it, obviously unwilling to let go, but Walter being the stronger of the two won.

"This must be the cause." He said solemnly, handing it to his wife.

Audrey looked it over, a mixture of joy for Josh, confusion for Drake.

"What is it, honey?"

"It's an acceptance letter for Josh. He's been accepted into what looks like a Peace Corp type mission."

"Well... that's _great_! Drake..."

Drake pushed away from Walter, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"_No_! No it's _not_ great! He's... he's... lea..." He couldn't take it and fell back into Walter, who still wasn't sure how to respond, so carefully wrapped his arms around Drake and allowed him to cry.

"Honey, maybe we ought to just call and tell them we can't make it. Wait for Josh to get home. Family emergency."

No sooner had he finished, she was on the phone to their friends."Yeah, I'm so sorry... family emergency."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I claim no ownership... dammit.

The last thing Drake wanted was to face Josh. He knew he wanted to be the one to open the letter, and he _ruined_ it.

Josh was really going to hate him, no getting around it. And with him leaving, it would make it that much easier for him to cut him out completely this time.

Once he came to his senses, he sat up to stretch."He's ganna _hate_ me." He whined as he wiped away the tears still stinging his eyes.

"I don't think Josh will ever _hate_ you." Came a rather manly voice in his ear.

Drake blinked a few times and turned slowly toward the voice.

"_What __the_...?!" He'd been so lost in thought; he hadn't realized he was being cuddled on Walter's lap. He broke free of Walter's hug, jumping ten feet before landing flat on his back behind the couch, "Owch."

"_Drake_?! You ok?!" Audrey asked, running to his side.

"Y-yeah... what's going on?" He breathed, the wind having been knocked out of him when he landed.

"You were crying over this letter for Josh when we got home..." Walter answered, "And you hugged me first!"

"Oh no..."

"Did you know about this?" Audrey asked as she helped him up, "He never said anything to us..."

"Yeah, I always thought he was so keen on college..."

"Yeah. He told me this morning. He didn't want to say anything to you 'cause he wasn't sure how you'd take it."

"This is what he'd been running to the mailbox for every morning?" Walter asked.

"_Where _did _you_ get this, Drake?" Audrey asked suspicious.

"I _wasn't _hiding it from him, if that's what you _think_." He answered defensively, catching on to Audrey's accusatory tone, "It was shoved in the back of the mailbox, I found it before you got home."

"What made you look in the back of the mailbox?" Walter wondered.

"Well, funny story really..." He started, backing away from Walter's striking distance, "Remember when your cell phone was turned off about a month ago?" he said coyly.

"_**What**_?!" Walter could feel the blood surging to his face, his fists clenched tight. Drake backed farther away.

"Yeah, guess I should have told you... the bill... shoved in the back...sorry."

"_**Sorry**_?!"

"_Guys_!" Sensing possible bloodshed, Audrey stepped in, "Look, calm down, Josh should hopefully be home soon..."

"_No_, I don't want to..."

"Just tell him how you found it, he'll understand." Audrey said.

"Yes, _Drake_... just tell him." Walter said threw a forced smile, "He will understand."

Drake's eyes widened. Every possible hurtful thing Josh could say and do ran through his mind at once. He felt his heart stop and blood rush from his brain.

Shaking his head violently, he backed out toward the door, "No no... no no no no... I _won't_..."

"Drake, get _back_ here!" Audrey demanded.

With his final "NO!" He disappeared out the door.

"I'll get him." Walter ran for the door. Before he even made it, he could hear the sound of tires squealing, "_Ah no_!"

"What?!"

"I left the..."

"... keys in the car."

----------------

Josh wasn't sure what to do with himself with what Mindy left him.

No, he had an idea, but the other things Mindy left him with turned him off fast.

"Drake?! I'm home... oh! Hey guys..." He said cheerfully, bouncing into the living room."'Sup? I thought you guys were going to some grand opening party?"

"We _were_..." Audrey said, eyes rolling in her husband's direction, "But your _father_ here _forgot_ the invitations."

"I said I was _sorry_!"

Josh made himself comfortable on the chair, becoming uneasy when his parents continued to stare.

"Uh... yea?" He asked, squirming slightly, "I do something wrong?"

"No, Josh, we just..." Walter started, when Josh cut him off.

"What happened to your shirt?" He asked, pointing at his father's chest and shoulder.

"That's what we want to talk to you about..."

"I didn't do it?" He was becoming very confused, "What does dad getting something on his shirt..."

"Josh, this is your _brother_." Walter said matter-of-factly, tugging at his damp shoulder.

"_What_?!" Now he was really confused, "He spill some..." Audrey quickly cut him off, handing him the crumpled, -and damp?- letter.

"Josh, this is what that's about." She said softly.

As he read over the letter, he couldn't contain his excitement.

He screamed, jumping up and down on the chair, "I can't believe this! This is great!"

"_Yes_! We're _thrilled_ for you...!" Audrey shared in her step-son's excitement, yet at the same time found herself ready to catch him, "_Please_ come down!"

"Sorry. So you guys are ok with this?"

"Yes! You know how great this will look on a college application?" His father hugged him, "We're proud of you, but..."

"But... Drake." He could feel his joy quickly drain, "I'll go talk to him..."

"We're sorry, Josh, but we're _worried_ about him too... and we don't know where he went."

Josh had a pretty good I idea where he could have gone. Against his better judgment, he went to leave.

"I might know where he is."

-------------

"Josh!" Came the harsh shrill form the counter, "You off today, what are you doing here?" Helen asked, or more demanded.

"I'm looking for Drake..."

"Mmm, he's pretty messed up. Looked like he lost his best friend... you stop speaking to him again?"

Why was it seemed every time something was wrong with Drake, Josh was the first thing to come to peoples' minds?

"_No_. I don't know what's wrong, that's why I'm looking for him."

"Well, think of the worst movie out there, that's where he is. Wanted to be alone and boy will he get alone with that!"

Knowing exactly what she was talking about, he made a dash for the theater.

He crept in, finding Drake in the last row.

He had his feet propped on the seats, eyes focused on the popcorn he played with as he gnawed away at his thumb nail.

"I bet the popcorn tastes better." When Drake didn't acknowledge him, he took the seat next to him and tried again, "This movie is _terrible_, and it's not even Tuesday." He said with a little laugh.

Again, Drake ignored him, so he decided to try a different approach; be blunt."I know you found the letter, and I am going..."

"So am I," Drake stood to leave, "Seems a person can't watch a movie around here."

Josh stood to block him. He was not going to allow them to leave things this way.

"Please move."

"No."

"Wha..."

"Sit down."

"_Are you_ _ser_..."

"Sit. Down. Now. I'm not finished."

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	5. Chapter 5

Drake wasn't sure what compelled him to obey. It wasn't as if he hadn't heard his own mother ordering him to stay put.

Keeping a wary eye on his step-brother, he backed away a seat and slowly sat down.

Josh sat back in his seat, unsure where to go from there. He hadn't counted on Drake actually doing as he was told.

"Listen..." He started, glancing over at the still shocked, wide-eyed red-head, "I don't know what's going on with you, but if it's what I think it is, then I would hope you could..."

"W-what _do_ you think _it_ is?" He snuck in cautiously, as he slid back into his original seat.

"I don't know. The way you've been acting lately though, a person can get ide-"

Josh never saw it coming. All he knew was one second he was speaking, the next, his step-brother had a hold of his collar, pulling him into the deepest kiss he'd ever experienced.

His head swam and pulse quickened.

This wasn't a 'thanks for the tickets to Oprah' goofy joke-kiss, this was...

_Making... out... __ki__- NO!_

When he came to, he forcefully threw Drake off, nearly sending him into the next row.

"I-I'm... I di...I..." Drake stammered and quickly ducked away.

He tried to read what Josh could be thinking, but his face was blank. He wasn't - couldn't - even look at him, "Dude, _please_..." Drake's voice snapped him back.

He watched as even in the dim light of the theater, he could see Josh's face turn from pale shock, to a bright red as if all of the sudden remembering he was angry.

Without a word, he grabbed hold of Drake's arm, ignoring the small cry of pain, and dragged him as he protested the whole way out of the theater to the car.

Keeping hold of the smaller boy with one hand, fumbling with the keys with the other. Once the door was finally open, he threw his charge into the passenger seat.

"_**Stay**_!" He barked, punctuating with the slam of the door.

Josh made his way around the car, keeping close watch on Drake who in turn was keeping an even closer eye on him. It would be just his luck Drake would say 'screw this' and leave.

To his surprise, he stayed.

He slammed the door, and then slapped his hands hard on the wheel sending Drake back into the passenger door.

Taking several deep breaths to calm down before looking over to find his brother seemingly fusing with the door, hands raised in surrender/protection, wincing at the thought of what was going to happen next.

"I'm _not_ going to _hurt _you." He assured.

Drake lowered his hands, but stayed securely pinned to the door.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd have thought you were ganna take me home and spank me or something..." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"_Don't_ go pulling me into any of your _sick fantasies_!" Josh snapped, throwing the car into drive.

"_What __the_...? I _wasn't_! And what are you doing? Dad's car..."

"We'll get it later."

"He's mad enough as it is at me..."

"Gee, _what _ya _do_ to _him_?!"

"_Joooosh_?!"

"Shut up."

--------------

After what felt like an eternity of silence, they came to the turn for home. When Josh passed it up, Drake fought with himself on whether or not to say anything.

Finding himself losing the battle, he spoke up, "Y-you passed the..."

"Yeah."

"Well, where are we..."

"We need to talk, so I just thought we'd drive around and talk, is all."

"Yeah, 'cause up till now, you've been a regular chatter box."

Ignoring the typical 'Drake quip', he struggled to vocalize what had been on his mind.

"How... how can you sit there and act like _nothing_ happened?" Drake lowered his head, covering his eyes with his thick bangs. To finish off his 'I'm ashamed' look, he slid his hands between his knees trying to keep still.

"_Drake_?"

At the sound of his name, rather than look up, he shot Josh a side glance.

"I don't know." His voice cracked.

Josh rolled his eyes. It was unbelievable he was going to try and use this 'cute and hurt' innocent thing on him.

"How _could _you... I'm _leaving_. In_ three weeks_. With _my girlfriend_..."

With that, Drake tossed his bangs from his eyes to make way for the daggers he stared into his brother.

Unable to take the pain of holding back any longer, he let go and began to sob, "You have_ no_ idea!"

"Dr-...?"

"_None_, alright! T-to _want_ someone but _not be allowed_ to want them the way you _do_... to _need_ them..."

"Y-you're right..." Josh answered softly, though was ignored.

"... to _love_ them... but _not be allowed_!" He finished the speech off with a fist to the dashboard before adding a few more small punches to the window before collapsing into himself.

"Drake, I'm sorry. I am-",_ Love me_, He shook it off, there was no way _Drake_ had just said 'love'., "-but be real, you know it could never, and I mean _never_..."

Drake raised a hand to stop him, "You'll _never_ understand, _no one_ will. _I_ don't. So, just let me out."

"No. We're going home..."

"I'll go back and get dad's car and come home."

"I told you we'll get it later." He said firmly, unconvinced.

"Fine then! I just want to walk, ok!"

"No way, you're way too upset..."

"What do you think I'm going to... oh don't _flatter_ yourself!"

"Oh please... oh _no, no_."

Josh looked up to find the inevitable; a red light.Unfortunately, Drake noticed it as well.

Knowing Josh wouldn't go through, he unbuckled his belt and readied himself to leave.

"See ya... hey!", _I don't believe it! He ran it!_, "Josh!"

"I _said_, we are going _home_."


	6. Chapter 6

"Let _go_ of _me_!" Drake shrieked as Josh dragged him into the house.

Audrey and Walter jumped from their seats in the kitchen to find Josh hauling his brother into the living room like a scolded child.

"_What_ is going on?!" Audrey asked, trying to keep a smirk from escaping. It struck her funny the only one gutsy enough to treat Drake like the child he seems, would be Josh.

"Found him." Josh answered, smiling triumphantly.

"We knew you were going to talk to him, but..."

"_Talk_ to me?! I'm sitting minding my own business and he _drags_ me out of the theater!"

"That is _soooo_ not how it happened! I _did_ try to talk to you, you tried to _leave_!"

"Where's my car?" Walter interrupted.

"We'll get it later?"

"Ok, fine. Now Josh, if you wouldn't mind, we'd like to speak with your brother."

"Uh, but I..."

"_Room_."

"Yes sir." he obeyed and bounded up the stairs.

Drake sat much the same as he had on the way home; head down, hands between his knees.

"I'm sorry I took your car." He said flatly as if he had been rehearsing it his whole life.

"That's not why we wan-..."

"It's about Josh leaving then, right? You aren't really going to let him go are you?" his voice started to crack again. He had promised himself he wouldn't cry anymore, especially around them.

Audrey sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"He's going to be eight-teen, there's nothing..."

"_Nothing_? You could try and talk him out of it."

"Why are you so hell-bent on him not going?" Walter asked, the question plaguing him the whole day, "Think about it, you'd get your room back, at least til you mo-"

"It's _our _room! And... I don't know, I just don't want him to go!" He broke his promise to himself, leaning into Audrey's shoulder.

"Drake, he wants to go." She said softly, "This means a lot to him, and if you care so much about him, the least you could do is pretend to be happy..."

He sat up, squaring his shoulders. Taking a deep breath, he sucked up the rest of the tears._Ok__. I can fake it_. He told himself, "I'll apologize." He said hesitantly.

"Josh!" Walter beckoned, the order quickly followed.

"Yeah?" He said meekly, taking a seat next to Audrey, Drake still sitting at attention to her left.

"Drake wants to apologize."

Drake turned to Josh, choking on his tongue trying to find the words. He'd never had such a hard time lying in his life.

"Josh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk about it, Mom and Walter are right; if I care about you, I should be happy for you. And I am."

Josh seemed to be considering it. Though it wasn't as if he'd never heard this song before.

And there was something missing.

"_And_...?" He asked expectantly.

"_And_? And _what_?"

"About what happened at the theater..."

"What happened at the theater?" Audrey asked.

_Oh, no! _Josh slapped his forehead, sliding his hand down his face, _Couldn't have waited, could __ya_, he scolded himself.

He looked to Drake to come up with something.

"Uh, well, I..." Drake fought hard to come up with something believable, "I... I punched him."

"You _what_?! Why?!"

"Yeah?... yeah! He punched me, and I'd like an apology

No." He said tersely.

"_What_?!" Josh readied himself for an actual fight, but Walter held him back, "I think I deserve an apology for that!"

"No."

"_Drake_, just say you're sorry..." Walter said, struggling to hold his son back.

"No, I won't. And I'll tell ya why... he punched me back." He said mildly.

Josh settled down enough for Walter let go.

"I did?" He wondered aloud.

"Yea, you _did_. It was a pretty good punch too." He said softly.

"Right! So now that we have all this cleared up, I think," Walter took Audrey by the arm to lead her out, "You guys just... well, kiss and make up. We're going to get my car."

Drake couldn't help a small grin at the irony.

"See, we have permission!" He laughed.

Josh was too far gone to notice Drake's little laugh at Walter's oblivion.

"Did I _really_..."

Drake gingerly swayed toward him, bringing his lips inches from his confused step-brother's, "I gotta say, it was the first time I felt my knees lock."

For one split second, Josh found himself flattered. But only for a second before pushing Drake away again.

"_No_! Don't do this! Just _drop it_, please!"

"_Fine_!" Drake threw his hands up and stepped back a little farther, "But I still will _never _apologize for it! I'm _glad _I did it! I... I'm..." He had so much more to say, but when words failed him, he ran for their room not realizing Josh was not far behind.

-------------

Drake went to slam the door, only to have Josh managed to catch it.

"What _is_ your _problem_?! You apologize and then act like you... you _didn't_ mean it."

"I tried. I did, I _swear_ I want to be sorry for that... but _not_ for kissing you."

"Alright, you know what, I'm going to pretend _none_ of this..."

"Hey, I'll tell ya what," Drake cut him off, not wanting to hear another hurtful rejection, "I'll throw ya a party! You _and _Mindy, a going away party, whatchya say?"

_Party?_, Josh's eyes rolled so far back in his head he about passed out. Up, down, up... sideways... there was no happy medium with Drake.

"I'd say you've successfully changed the subject so, sure. Sounds great. I'll say something to her tomorrow."

"Great. I'll even call the band. They'll want to say bye too, you being the best manager we ever had and all." He added slyly.

Josh simply nodded, letting a small involuntary smile slip.

"It's set then! I'll say something to Mom and Walter when I get back." He left for who knows where, out the window, again, leaving Josh to stew in his confusion.

_Unbelievable.Unpredictable_..., "Unstable!"

---------------

Wanting to put the day behind him, Josh curled up in bed. Having been such a trying day, he easily fell fast asleep.

Not too long after, Drake was sneaking back through the window. It wasn't that he needed to, he just thought it fun. That and he knew it drove Josh nuts.

He tip toed up to Josh's bedside. Hovering just above his ear, he whispered;

"You asleep?" He waited a few seconds for a response, when none came, he added, "I love you, Josh. Please don't go."


	7. Chapter 7

Josh sat up and stretched, amazed he was able to sleep at all.

Rolling out of bed, he stumbled toward Drake's bed, only to find it empty.

Making his way downstairs, he found him lounging on the couch, flipping through channels.

"What are you up already for? Didn't you get in late, I'd thought you would be sleeping in?"

"I couldn't sleep. I didn't wake you or anything when I came in, did I?" He asked, almost _seeming_ to care, yet keeping focused on the T.V.

"No. Mom and Dad up?" He asked, taking a seat next to Drake.

"Yeah," He jumped up in excitement, "And the party's on! I talked to them this morning and the band last night and every thing's set for the day before you leave..."

"'s cool." He said quietly.

"Gee, you can calm down now."

"I'm sorry. I have some things on my mind is all." He got up to leave, only to be caught by the wrist, "Uh, yeah?"

"I... nothing. Never mind." He let go and went back to spacing out to the T.V. the events of the previous day, Josh decided it best to let it go and headed upstairs to get ready.

Drake looked around, making sure he was alone.

Shaking his head, he sighed to himself, "He heard me."

---------------------

Josh was not going to allow himself to be read so easy by Mindy again. He made sure long before reaching her house he was calm and collected.

"Hey-" Before she could finish her greeting, Josh had one of his own.

Grabbing her close, he forcefully pressed his lips to hers.

"Hi." He said quickly, stopping for air before ravaging her mouth once more.

Not wanting to seem ungrateful, she shrugged and allowed him to continue, letting a slight moan when he let go.

"Um, hi?" She said, trying to keep her balance, "Wow, what was_ that_ about? You haven't kissed me like that since we got back together."

"Oh, I just wanted to make... su-..." He trailed off, then quickly covered, "I'm just so _happy_! I got this yesterday!" He took the letter from his pocket, playfully flicking it in her face, "I'm in!"She jumped against him, wrapping her arms around his neck, "See, I knew you would be!"

"Yeah, it was post marked like two weeks ago..."

"Two weeks? And you just got it yesterday?"

"Drake found it shoved in the back of the mailbox."

"Ah."

"Ah?"

"This sort of confirms everything don't you think? Before it was you_ might _be leaving, now you really _are_. How'd he take it?"

"Oh _maaaaan_." He whined. He should have known she would bring that up.

"Took it that well, did he?"

"As well as can be expected."

"So, what did he say?"

Not wanting to get into every detail, and especially not that detail that would haunt him for the rest of eternity, he summed everything up quoting the simple heart wrenching statement that awoke him in the middle of the night.

"He said 'I love you, Josh. Please don't go.'"

Josh could hear Mindy's breath leave her lungs, and jaw hit the floor. She moved it a few times, yet couldn't get the words out.

"Man, I _can't_ keep _anything_ from you, he also..."

"There's _more_?" Seemed to be the only words able to free themselves.

"He confessed a lot about his feelings. It was kinda scary, it was like he was someone else..."

"Honestly, Josh, I don't know what to say..."

"I don't see _why_. _You're_ the one with all the _observations_ and little _song and dance_..."

"You have no idea how badly I wanted to be wrong." She said sympathetically.

"No more than me."

"But, that kiss when you came in, you said something about 'making sure'..."

So much for not being read, "Oh, you caught that, huh? Well... it's nothing."

"No Josh, you don't say 'just making sure' for _nothing_." She said unconvinced.

"Ok, if you _must_ know... he _kissed_ me." He said stiffly.

Her eyes widened and she slapped her hand to her mouth. She could feel every meal she ever ate churning in her stomach. _Drake germs!_ Was her first thought before slapping herself and coming to, "And what you meant by 'making sure'..."

"Oh, I don't know... forget it!" He smiled and tried to wave it off as nothing, though he couldn't deny there were a few - no, many - thoughts swirling in his head about to burst.

"He has you questioning yourself... and us, doesn't he?" She asked plaintively.

"_What_?! What, _no_! _Crazy_ Mindy! _Crazy, crazy_ girl and _crazy _thoughts!" He sang.

He stopped when he caught sight of her from the corner of his eye; eye brow raised, arms crossed, lips curled in, foot taping; she was serious.

Becoming serious himself, he took her in his arms for a reassuring hug.

"We're going on this trip. Together. _Us_..."

"It sounds to me like you have some things to work out before you make anymore statements like that."

"Stop talking crazy. Look, the party is set for the day before we leave..."

"The party that _Drake_ set up?"

"He's just trying to be nice. It's his way of making up for the way he acted yesterday. It's for _us_."

Still not convinced, she decided to let it go. There was still three weeks before they were set to leave and despite Drake's lack of attention span, he wasn't one to give up on something he had his mind, and heart, set on.

_I'm not going to give up either, Drake Parker._, "Ok, you're right, I am being crazy!"

"Thank you." He placed his arm around her shoulder, leading her to the couch, "Now, how about I prove how wrong you are about me?"

He took her in his arms, trying to repeat the assault on her lips and trying even harder to ignore how all of the sudden, it felt wrong.Mindy picked up on the hesitation right away.

_I'm going to lose..._ She thought woefully, _I'm going to lose to your brother._

---------------------

"What is with this playlist, Parker?"

"Yea, since _when_ do we play songs _older_ than us?"

"What are you guys talking about? These are _great_ songs!"

"Aerosmith? Def Leppard? Cinderella? I thought Josh had better taste than this... or is this for "Yoko"?"

"Heh, "Yoko", good one..."

"Focus Drake! Face it, these are kinda odd for a going away party."

"Yea, they're for "Yoko" ok. I'm just trying to be nice... it's the least I can do to thank her for leaving the country.", _And__ taking the one person I have ever cared about with her._


	8. Chapter 8

Drake sat back, guitar in hand practicing the simple cords of the songs he was going to leave Josh with, his mind wondering how he may take it all; get angry? Think things through? Ignore them?

When another sickening thought occurred to him, The band thinks these are for Mindy!, He shuttered, quickly catching his guitar before nearly dropping it to the floor.

"_**Drake**_?!" His name was bellowed, punctuated by the slamming door.

He quickly sat up, hiding the music under the cushions, "What's up? You tell Mindy about-"

"Don't _what's up_ me..." he mocked, flailing about.

"Huh? Oh, before you say anything, we started rehearsing today," Drake interrupted, sensing Josh's anger, he tried to change the subject. "Got one awesome line-..."

"_Stop_! Just _shut up_ and _listen_, for once!"

"Ok, _sorry_! What's wrong?"

Josh calmed down, not wanting a fight. "I need you to do me a small favor..."

"'Course. Anything." He answered brightly with a soft smile, killing Josh.

_Man, don't smile at me like that_, "Stay away from me."

Drake expression melted fast. The bright smile dimming into oblivion. A small lump formed in his throat leaving him unable to speak.

Josh took a seat next to him, sending Drake to his feet and slowly backing away.

Josh sighed and shook his head. Drake's expression puncturing his heart.

"Look, sit down and please listen..."

Drake simply shook his head. He knew if he got anywhere near Josh, he'd want to hold him, even beg him not to do this possibly only angering him more.

"I'm not _done _with you, I'm not even really _angry_, I just... I need to _think_, ok? Just till the party, leave me alone..."

Still unable to form words, save for a small sigh of disgust, Drake ran for the door, only to be caught by the arm.

When the need was there, Josh could move fast.

Forcing Drake into a hug, he held him close allowing for his distraught step-brother to cry, "Don't leave here upset like that please. I said I'm not done with you, I could never be, you know that! And it's just til the party..."

"_Three weeks_!" He cried into Josh's chest, "Y-you're saying I-I can't spend _any_ time with you before you _leave_?!"

"Well, maybe I won't need that much time, but, just let me be so I can think, ok?"

Drake reluctantly let go, "Ok." He sighed, "I mean, Mom and Walter are right; if I care about you, I should just let you go if it's what will make you happy."

"Wow, Drake, that's very grown up of you. Thank-" Before he could finish his praises, the sound of the door shutting snapped him from his shock, "But_ that's_ very _you_!"

He huffed back to the couch, flopping back. In a frantic search for the remote, he came across Drake's sheet music.

_Must be what they plan on playing... weird..._ There were no lyrics, and Josh wasn't much for reading music, but the titles in bold print caught his eye right away;

_What It Takes: Aerosmith, Nobody's Fool: Cinderella...Wasted Time: Skid Row?_ "Really... odd?"

Curiosity now killing him, he broke out the laptop in search of lyrics.

"Oh... D-Drake..." He choked as he read through the heart felt lyrics of Wasted Time, feeling for the first time the need to cry himself.

Not sure he really wanted to know if they were in fact going to play these, he slid across the couch to the phone, hesitantly dialing.

"Hey! Julio! Josh here, how's it goin'... yeah, cool, I just wanted to ask you about this sheet music I f-... yea they are wei-... _Mindy_? I don't even think she's ever... ok, man, I'll see ya then!"Looking once more through the lyrics, he slapped the laptop shut.

Furiously rubbing his face, trying _desperately _not to cry, only to fail.

Ignore 'girlfriend' and 'girl' and youl get the rest ;P----------------------------------**What It Takes**There goes my old girlfriend, there's another diamond ringAnd, uh, all those late night promises I guess they don't mean a thingSo baby, what's the story? Did you find another man?Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?When you don't look back I guess the feelings start to fade away.I used to feel your fireBut now it's cold insideAnd you're back on the street like you didn't miss a beat, yeahChorus:Tell me what it takes to let you goTell me how the pain's supposed to goTell me how it is that you can sleep in the nightWithout thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?Tell me what it takes to let you go.YeahGirl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. Finebut your love made me a prisoner, yeah my heart's been doing timeYou spent me up like money, then you hung me out to dryIt was easy to keep all your lies in disguiseCause you had me in deep with the devil in your eyesChorusGuitar!Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own Yeah, yeah, yeahTell me that it's better when you're all aloneTell me that your body doesn't miss my touchTell me that my lovin' didn't mean that muchTell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for meChorusTell me what it takes to let you goTell me how the pain's supposed to goTell me how it is that you can sleep in the nightWithout thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twiceNo no no no 'cause I don't wanna burn in paradiseOoo Let go, let go, let go,let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go,let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it goI don't wanna burn, I don't wanna burn

I threw this one in, knowing it's more of a break-up song, as a way for Drake to really stick it to Josh -------------------------**Nobody's Fool**I count the falling tearsThey fall before my eyesSeems like a thousand yearsSince we broke the tiesI call you on the phoneBut never get a riseSo sit there all aloneIt's time you realizeI'm not your foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNever again, no, noYou take your road, I'll take mineThe paths have both been beatenSearchin' for a change of paceLove needs to be sweetenedI scream my heart out, just to make a dimeAnd with that dime I bought your loveBut now I've changed my mindI'm not your foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNever again, no, noNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI count the falling tearsThey fall before my eyesSeems like a thousand yearsSince we broke the tiesOhhhI'm not your foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolI'm no foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's foolNo, nobody's foolNobody's foolNo, nobody's foolNobody's foolNobody's fool

**Wasted Time**You and I together in our livesSacred ties would never frayThen why can´t I let myself tell liesAnd watch you die every dayI think back to the timesWhen dreams were what matteredTough talking youth naivetéYou said you never let me downBut the horse stampedes and ragesIn the name of desperationIs it all just wasted timeCan you look at yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindIs it all just wasted timeCan you live with yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindParanoid delusions they haunt youWhere´s my friend I used to knowHe´s all aloneHe´s buried deep within a carcassSearching for a soulCan you feel me inside your heartAs it´s bleedingWhy can´t you believe youcan be lovedI hear you scream in agonyAnd the horse stampedes and ragesIn the name of desperationIs it all just wasted timeCan you look at yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindIs it all just wasted timeCan you live with yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindYou said you never let me downBut the horse stampedes and ragesIn the name of desperationIs it all just wasted timeCan you look at yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindIs it all just wasted timeCan you live with yourselfWhen you think of whatYou left behindThe sun will rise againThe earth will turn to sandCreation´s colors seem to fade to greyAnd you´ll see the sickly hands of timeWill write your final rhymeAnd end a memoryI never thought you´d let it getthis far, boy


	9. Chapter 9

"_**You**_!" Drake snarled, forcing his way past Mindy.

"Come in?" She watched as he paced a few times before turning on her again.

"I know I'm not smart..."

"Well, first step to recovery is admit-..."

"_Don't_ start! I'm in _no _mood for that!"

"Fine, then would you please fill me in on why you forced your way into my house and are yelling at me?"

"I know better than to think Josh is able to keep anything quiet, especially from _you_..." He said angrily.

"Ok, Drake. Yes. He told me everything. Happy now? Will you please lea-..."

"_You _told him to stop talking to me didn't you?"

"What? No, Drake, I..."

"I _know _he came here earlier and he comes home and tells me to _stay away_ from him..."

"He t-"

"What? You going to tell me he just decided this on his own...?"

As Drake went on with his accusations and insults, Mindy, trying to get a word in, swiped a magazine from the table, rolled it up and thwaped him hard across the back of the head sending him to the floor.

Stunned, he shook it off, finding enough balance for a searing glare.

"Now, what I was trying to say, and listen good; he told me the same thing."

"Wha...?"

"Yeah. Right after _trying _to kiss me, he tells me he needs some time to think and to give him some space."

_**Trying**__ to kiss her?_ Drake listened intently as she explained what he had told her and how everything had been affecting him.

"You know Drake, what I don't get..."

"_What_?"

"How when _I_ told him I loved him, he freaked and we ended up breaking up. _You _tell him you love him and his whole world is turned upside down and he's telling _me _to leave him alone...""

He thought about how he felt about you..."

"True, but I am his _girlfriend_! He's _supposed _to think those things about _me_! You're his _step-brother_! He shouldn't even be _thinking _about _thinking it_!"

"Oh I get it," Still feeling woozy, he slowly stood to face her, "You're afraid you're going to lose." he said arrogantly.

"_What_?! Where did you get that... no! I'm _not _afraid to lose to _you_! I'm going to respect his wish and give him space, where as I know you're going to bug him because, oh yea, you _share a room_ because _you're brothers_!"

"So! I-I can ignore him..." He faltered.

"Yeah, 'cause you did so well when he stopped speaking to you."

"That was different!" finding himself running out of defenses, he stormed out the door.

"Have a nice rest of the evening, come back anytime!" She called out sarcastically.

-------------------------------

After some time to think things over, Josh calmed down. There was no way Drake was going to go through with playing those. There was also the possibility with his short attention span, there would be enough time for a girl to turn Drake's head..., _Or__ a guy?_

He shook the thought off and went for a drink when he heard the front door slam.

Standing back, he watched Drake run for the couch.

Looking around, he searched the cushions for the music, which Josh thanked God he replaced.

"Missing one..." Drake said to himself.

"Looking for this?"

"_What_?! _**Megan**_?!," The sound of her name sent Josh ducking lower, "What are you doing with that?!" He reached for it only to have Megan snatch it back.

"Oh, Drake, it's been so obvious..."

"W-what? What are you... you tell anybody...!"

"Or _what_? No, I'm not telling anybody. Besides, the only people who are oblivious seem to be mom and dad..."

"_How_?!"

"_Please_. Now, like I said, I'm not going to tell. Oh no, I'm going to sit back and enjoy watching this all unfold on it's own." She said in a low, eerie hush, tossing the music to him, "Now just do me a favor and stay out of my clothes."

Drake watched in disbelief as she trotted out of the room, a slight giggle from the kitchen at Megan's last statement catching his attention.Josh jumped at the sound of Drake punching the door open.

"Been there long?"

"_What_? _No_... yeah... sorry..."

Before he could say anything, his conversation with Mindy came back at him, "You know, I don't want to talk about it. You asked me to give you space and... I'm ganna..."

"O-ok..."

"I got some practicing to do." He said softly as he headed for their room.

-------------------------------

Josh gave Drake some time to cool off before heading up to their room.

Wanting to hear it from Drake himself about the music choices, he took a seat next to him as he mindlessly strummed away at his guitar.

"You said earlier you guys started rehearsing today..."

"Yeah, so. _You _care?" He said tartly, his tone sending daggers into Josh's chest.

"Y-yeah, I do..."

"Yes. We started rehearsing today. Now can I _please_..."

"I found the music, Drake." He said curtly, annoyed Drake was not going to make things easy. Drake stopped playing. Putting his guitar aside, he sat up like a defiant child waiting for a scolding, "You aren't _really _going to play those are you?"

"_What_?! No! 'Course not, I'm just _learning _something _new_, ya know..." He laughed.

"I talked to Julio."

"Ok, so maybe at _first_, but I was angr-"

"Save it."

"Josh, I just..."

"What were you planning on doing when people figured out those weren't for Mindy?"

"I don't know. I didn't think that far ahead I guess."

"_No kidding_?! Seriously, you heard Megan, and up till a few days ago, mom and dad _weren't_ the only ones in the dark, and I was perfectly fine with it!"

"Ok. I won't play them. I don't even think I would have had the guts to go through with it anyway, ya know."

"Yeah right..."

"_Really_. I don't want you leaving here mad at me." He said heavy heartedly.

"_Promise _you won't play those?"

"Promise. Now what happened to you needing your time to think?" Though Josh could tell it was forced, he appreciated Drake's attempt at a smile.

"Thanks, bro."

"Yeah. Oh, and I heard you laugh at what Megan said." He smirked, nudging Josh playfully.

"Sorry, it was just... you know, about what she said..."

"What?"

"You know what she was saying, and you said _nothing_."

Drake went for his guitar to pick up where he left off, shrugging Josh's statement off.

Deciding not to press the issue farther, he patted Drake on the shoulder and left.Waiting for Josh's foot steps to fade down the stairs, he took out the music Megan had found.

"Right, bro. I promise I won't play the ones you found."

-------------------------------

Josh fought hard to sleep. Tossing and turning he gave up and sat straight up, staring at the blankets steadily moving up and down with his step-brother's breathing.

Quietly getting up, he tip-toed to Drake's bed, carefully climbing the small ladder.

He sat cross-legged next to the bed.

There was something angelic about Drake when he slept; his mouth was shut.

Josh laughed to himself at the thought.

Drake adjusted himself, giving Josh a start. Clutching his heart with one hand, he waved the other over Drake's face.

"What are you trying to do to me, Drake?" He whispered, moving the thick tangle of bangs that had fallen into Drake's face when he shifted, "I said give me time to think, and here I think I've already... I don't know..."

He paused a moment, trying to process what he was saying.

He cautiously leaned in, placing a quick, soft kiss to Drake's cheek.

"Josh?" Drake moaned sleepily.

Again, Josh sat back, his breathing halted.

He waited for Drake to sit up, or even say anything else.

Once he realized he was simply talking in his sleep, he relaxed and smiled.

"No, I think I do know."


	10. Chapter 10

A week had passed and to Josh's amazement, Drake was making good his promise to let him think. At the most they'd say 'Hey' in passing.

The bright smiles that came with his simple "Heys" made Josh wonder, having made the little vigil next to Drake's bed almost nightly, if Drake secretly knew.

And he couldn't help wonder what Mindy was up to. He missed her, but not like he thought he would.

Yes, it was all becoming too clear to him; he'd fallen for his step-brother. His obnoxious, trouble seeking, none-to-bright... sweet, good hearted, sometimes even thoughtful, step-brother.

_Step_-brother.

_Brother_.

The words played on his mind.

Then the idea of being away from him for almost two years tore at him. Two years. Gone. With Mindy.

Mindy, whom he still had feelings for, just not the same feelings.

How unfair was this to her?

No. How unfair was this to _himself_? Allowing himself to fall, and seemingly fall _hard_, for his _step-brother_.

Not to mention, if Megan and Mindy were able to pick up on this, then who else? If he does allow himself to just go for it with Drake, then how long before their parents - parents they shared, even if not by blood - found out? What would they say? What would they do?

"Forget this." He muttered.

"Huh?" Having been so deep in thought, he'd forgotten Drake was in the room, guitar in his lap practicing.

"Nothing. Sorry."

"You ok?"

"I'm fine. I just need some sleep. Mind if I turn the lights off?"

"Sure. I'm going to turn in too anyway."

Josh watched Drake settle into bed, unsure of making his nightly visit, though they did seem to help him think.

Waiting for Drake's breathing to become steady, he caved and made the now all too familiar climb up the ladder.

"You know I do this don't you?" He whispered, settling in to his usual spot next to the bed, "And you're enjoying it too, I can tell. It's how you're taking our not speaking so well, isn't it?" he smirked.

He shifted to lay his head on the bed, barely inches from Drake's. Shutting his eyes, he concentrated on Drake's soft, relaxed breathing as it lightly wisped his forehead.

"Night, Drake." He yawned. Having been calmed by the beautiful sound, and vision, he lay next to, he himself fell fast asleep.

--------------------------

Drake awoke in the middle of the night to a sharp shooting pain in his hands, "Practicing too much?" He wondered, though he didn't think there was such a thing.

He sat up to massage them, when he caught sight of an unusual figure from the corner of his eye.

"Josh? Wake up..." He nudged him.

"Huh? Wha...?"

"Dude, when did you get up here?" He laughed.

"Oh _man_, I'm _sorry_!" He crawled to the ladder when Drake caught him by the leg of his pajamas.

"It's ok." He assured.

"You're _fine _with this?"

"What? With you watching me sleep this past week?"

"Y-you knew?"

"No. I thought it was a dream..."

"I know it's weird, but it was helping me think, ya know?"

"Really? And you were thinking...?"

"Look, can we talk about this in the morning? I'm exhausted." He tried again to climb down, but Drake still had a firm grip on his pajamas.

"You know, I only woke you 'cause I thought you might be more comfortable in a bed..."

"Thanks. My neck was getting cramped..." He tried once more to leave, finding his ankle now clutched tightly, "I'd kinda like to go to bed, my neck really is..."

"I said _a_ bed, not _which _bed."

"D-Drake? I..."

"Please? Just tonight?"

Josh tried to make out Drake's expression in the dim light. It wasn't his usual 'fake, pouty, puppy eyes, please' when he'd try to talk him into something stupid, this was a 'real, soft smile, shining eyes, please'.

Dumbfounded without the ability to speak, Josh nodded as he took a place next to his step-brother under the covers.

It was almost surreal feeling; sharing a pillow, face to face, in the same bed.

"You know how _long _I have waited for this?" Drake sighed contently.

"No, I was wondering that. When exactly did you decide you had feelings for me?"

"I didn't _decide_, man, it just _happened_..."

"Kinda like it's just happening for me?" Josh said softly, moving Drake's bangs from his eyes.

"Josh, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

Josh grinned. Moving closer, lips just barely touching, "What _do _you think I'm saying?" Was punctuated with a very pleasantly surprising, passionate kiss.

"I, Drake Parker, am now a believer that dreams come true!" He exclaimed, pulling Josh on top of him.

"_What_?" Josh laughed, "What did you do with the _real _Drake? He'd _never _say..."

"No no! That was the _old _Drake! The Drake I'm ganna be for you..." Placing a finger over his lips, Josh shushed him.

"First off, _hush_. Bad enough Megan is onto this..."

"Right. Second?"

"_Second_, the old Drake is the one I fell for."

Drake let a slight moan of protest as Josh rolled off him.

_Guess I don't need that last song after all_, He thought as he drifted to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

"_Please let me go! Please __please__ please_?"

"_No! You want to __**gloat**_."

cock-eyed confused look

"_Geez... You just want to rub it in her face!_"

"_**What? No**__! I just want to... __yea,__ I __wanna__ rub it in her face..._"

"_She doesn't deserve that..._"

"_If I __**promise**__ to be good..._?"

"_Sit! __**Stay**_!"

"_**Fine**_"

--------------

Josh replayed his trying to leave over and over on his way to Mindy's.

"He offered to change for me, and I _turned _it _down_... _what_ was I _thinking_?!"

Pulling into the driveway, he tried to push aside Drake's pleading and go over what he wanted to say to Mindy.

_I won't have to say anything. She reads me like a book._

He tried to ring the bell, each time pulling his hand back as if it would bite him, when the door opened.

"Hi Josh." Mindy said softly through a blank expression.

"Hey, how ya been?"

"Fine. Getting some things ready for this trip, going over things and I know you made up your mind... and it's not me..."

"Look, I'm _really _sorry. I'm not even sure _myself _how this happened..."

"I tried to tell myself he'd bug you to death, and you'd come back, but... I guess our talk had the _reverse _effect..."

"Talk?"

"Who knew he'd _actually_ listen?" She half-heartedly laughed.

"When did you two talk?"

He didn't tell you he came here?"

"No. When?"

"The day you told us to leave you alone, he came here accusing me of telling you to stop speaking to him..."

"I'll talk to him about that, but how did you know he left me alone?"

"I have my ways." She grinned eerily.

"_Megan_!""Don't worry, she wasn't_ spying_ for me or anything. She sent me an email this morning filling me in. She said Drake kept his distance and you were thinking things over. But as of last night, you two 'made up

Last..._night_?" Josh gulped hard. He could feel his ears burn. He knew his face must have been three shades of red., "Wh-wha..."

"All she said was she wasn't sleeping well and sometime in the middle of the night she heard Drake crying out about 'dreams coming true'?"

"Oh... my... _nothing _happened! Nothing like _that _anyway..."

"Josh, you don't have to explain _anything _to me. You made your decision, and as your friend - we are friends right? - I'm going to _respect _it."

"'Course we're friends! And thank you. I've said it before, but, you're the best."

"I've said it before; I know."

"You are still coming to the party, right? It's still for _us_."

"Sure."

She stood at the door, watching Josh as he slipped into his car to head home.

_Ok, Drake. You won the battle, but I'm the one with two years alone time with him_, "This war is still on."

----------------------------

Drake jumped to his feet at the sound of the door, his arms wide open to greet his new lover.

"Hello, _luva_! I did as you asked, I _stayed_..." He said, wrapping his arms around Josh, tugging him in for a kiss, "So what's in it for me?"

"Did you go to Mindy's and accuse her of something, Drake?"

"Mood killer." He griped, dropping his arms to his sides.

"_Drake_!"

"Yeah, and I'm sorry, ok?"

"You _are _going to _apologize _to herat the party, _right_?"

Noting the tone wasn't a request, Drake collapsed back onto the couch and nodded.

"Good. Thank you." He said in a friendlier tone.

Taking a seat next to Drake, he placed his arm around him, allowing for him to rest his head on his shoulder.

After a few moments of silence, Josh spoke up.

"You were wondering what was in it for you for doing as I asked?" He whispered.

"Y-yeah..."

"We _totally _alone?"

"Would I have risked _that _greeting if we _weren't_?"

"Point taken!" He exclaimed, guiding Drake to straddle his lap.

"_Hey_." Drake sang deeply before crushing Josh's lips with his own.

Josh laced his fingers threw Drake's hair with one hand, holding tight, fumbling with his belt with the other.

"Stupid... thing..." He mumbled, mouth still full of Drake's tongue.

"Hmm?" Drake suddenly halted the kiss and pushed himself back enough to look down at Josh's hand gripping his belt, "_Josh_?"

"I-I'm _sorry_!" he cried, quickly pulling his hand away, "I don't want to push or... oh _man_..."

"Are you _kidding_?!" Drake said gleefully. Leaning in to nuzzle his ear, he added warmly, "You have _no _idea what a turn on this is, _you _making the first move..."

"Well, if you're ok with it then..." Bypassing the belt, Drake placed Josh's hand into the hem of his jeans as they resumed their first 'alone time' make out session.

Or so they thought they were alone.

A sudden sharp click and burst of light had Josh lifting Drake by his hips, tossing the smaller boy across the couch like a rag doll.

"Gotchya!" Came the shrill giggle of their little sister, "I so knew this day would come..."

"_What _do you think you plan on doing with _that_, _Megan_?" Drake demanded, attempting to jump the back of the couch just to have Josh pull him back by his shirt.

"Oh _nothing_. Remember? Unless you two boobs screw this up yourselves, _and you will_, I don't plan on doing a thing." She grinned coldly, sending a chill up Drake's spine.

"And _what _did you think you were doing _emailing _Mindy?"

"Hey, us jaded women gotta stick together." She said scornfully, leaving them alone once again.

"You were saying about mood killers?" Josh groaned, "How could you _not _know she was home?"

"Yeah, kinda did it in for me." Drake whined, falling back into Josh's lap, "And she _wasn't_ home. She must have come in through the garage."

"TV?" Josh sighed.

"Sure." Drake answered dryly as he settled back, wrapping Josh's arms around him, "So, how far _were _you planning on going with me anyway?" Josh didn't know how to answer, he wasn't sure himself where he was going. It was a simple 'caught up in the moment' act as far as he knew. No longer in the mood for such talk, he sighed and placed a gentle kiss on top of Drake's head."Wow, _that _far, huh?"

"_TV_!"

----------------------------

To Megan's dismay, the day of the party came without either slipping to anyone.

She wanted to keep her word, and let them screw it up themselves. They did after all help her with the jerk - what's his name? - Who cares now.

She watched their every move; how they interacted with others, and each other. Nothing to indicate they were messing around.

_They're getting good. Too good_, She thought, when Mindy approached her.

"Hey, Megan..."

"Hey."

"Thanks for the email, it kinda softened the blow a little..."

"Yeah yeah." She dismissed, keeping her sights between her brothers, quickly turning her attention to Mindy as Drake made his way over,

"Yeah! Good one, haha! Later!" faining a little laugh, she exited.

"What was _that _about?" Drake asked.

"No clue, and what do _you _want anyway?"

"I want to ap-ap... apo... say I'm... sor..."

"Spit it out, Drake, it's not a big word."

"It's not easy for me, ok! I don't think I should have to but..."

"Josh is making you. Ok, how about since I know what you're trying to say and I know it's not easy for you, I'll just go with the thought counting."

"Really? Wow, thanks."

"See, I'm not _always _evil!" She laughed, playfully jabbing his arm before becoming serious again, "But I was wondering; how were you planning on dealing with his leaving tomorrow?"

Catching sight of a friend, she patted Drake on the back, leaving him confused... and crushed.

It wasn't like it wasn't in the back of his mind, it's just that's where he'd plan on keeping it; tucked far away.

He scanned the room for Josh watching him as he was geeking it up one last time with Craig and Eric when his heart took a sudden dive.

The tears threatening to escape scared back in when his drummer tapped him on the back.

"Hey man, we're about ready to play."

"O-Ok... I'll be back in a minute."

He ran for his room, rummaging through his sheet music.

"You're looking for this again, aren't you?" Megan had followed him.

"_How_? Seriously, _how_?"

Megan shrugged and handed it over, an almost chesire cat like grin crossing her face.

Swiping the music from her he made a run for it.

"_Yes_!"


	12. Chapter 12

"Man, you said we weren't going to play these..."

"It's just this _one_... and _maybe _this one..."

"Dude! These are so _depressing_!"

"Shhh! They're just to take it down a bit, we don't have to 'rock out' all the time, do we?"

evil glare

"_Fine_. At least give me this one..."

----------------------

As Drake cued up to begin their usual line-up, Megan bound down the stairs, grabbing Mindy in passing, dragging her in to share front and center for Drake's 'coming out'.

"Megan? I didn't know you liked Drake's music..."

"Give me a break! No, this is going to be so good on so many levels."

Settling them in for the perfect view of not only Drake, but Josh who had made himself comfortable next to the make-shift stage.

"What is going on?"

Pulling Mindy close, she whispered Drake's playlist and how he had promised Josh he wouldn't play them."... but I noticed you had set him off, so I followed him to his room..."

"So he's going to go ahead with it anyway?"

"You have no idea how much you have made my week. It's been killing me..."

"What? That they have been able to keep it from everyone? I'm surprised you haven't..."

"I decided to let them screw this up themselves..."

"Knowing Drake would?"

Megan nodded, a sly grin creeping through.

"Excellent."

Josh caught Megan and Mindy from the corner of his eye getting a little too friendly with each other for his comfort.

Not to mention the triumphant, almost evil, grins on their faces weirding him out.

Fighting through the small crowd of dancers, even being pulled in by a few well-wishers, he literally slipped into a seat between them.

"So, how's it goin' you two?"

"Oh, just enjoying the party..." Mindy said, trying to fight the urge to warn him. She couldn't believe she was feeling badly about what may happen. Last thing she wanted was to see Josh hurt. But then, it was Drake doing the hurting, "... how about you Megan?"

"The music is great... and going to get better!" She laughed sarcastically, elbowing Mindy.

Megan looked up to catch Drake staring daggers in their direction.

_Oh this is going to be good_, "You two yack away. I'm getting a drink."

"What did you two do?" Josh asked poignantly.

"What?"

"I saw you talking to Drake earlier and I saw Megan follow him, what did..."

"Yeah, he was apologizing for accusing me of telling you to stop speaking to him. As far as Megan, I don't know."

"Really? He _did _apologize?"

"Well, you told him to, right?"

"Yeah, but since _when _does he do as he's told?" He laughed.

"Since he's in love?"

Drake couldn't take much more of the sight of Josh and Mindy leaning in so close to each other to speak, no matter what they may be speaking about.

_Music's not that loud! How could I talk myself into inviting her?! Even for Josh?!_

Looking away for a split second to catch a near miss on a cord, he missed Josh losing his balance on the folding chair, causing him to grab for the first thing in reach; Mindy's knee.

Josh was quick to yank his hand away, but not quick enough.

Drake sped up the tempo, not wanting to end the song mid-bridge.

Once the song finally ended, he turned to his perplexed band mates.

"Alright guys," He said hushed, "We're taking it down..."

"Not _yet_! We've only played _two _of our own..." They pleaded.

Ignoring them, he turned back to the guests.

"That was, of course, one of ours," He said hoarsely, "Um, we're going to take it down a few notches... something different..."

"What's he doing?" Josh wondered aloud.

Megan, unable to contain herself, gripped the arm of the first person nearest to her, not seeming to pay much mind it was 'Crazy' Steve.

"I don't know, Josh. Apparently something different?" Mindy fained concern, looking for Megan, who, still with a firm hold on Steve, gave Mindy a quick nod.

Drake struck up the first few cords, almost instantly recognized by his parents and a few other guests.

"_Here I am__ I'm in the wrong bed again_

_It's a game I just can't win_

_There you are __breathin__' soft on my skin_

_Still you won't let me in ..._"

"Wow, Def Leppard." Walter sighed nostalgically, taking Audrey by the hand, "Dance?"

"Of course."

Megan held tight to Steve, "Would you mind terribly letting go please?"

"Yes."

"Ok then."

"Come on! Someone look at Drake and Josh!" She said through clenched teeth, looking back and forth between Drake - who kept a close watch on Josh and Mindy - and Josh, who just stared blankly at the floor.

"_Why save your kisses for a rainy day_

_Baby let the moment take your heart away..._"

"What _really _was said between you two earlier?" Josh asked firmly.

"Well, he apologized. Then you said you saw everything, so..."

"I saw him say something, then you say something, him smile and Craig and Eric come at me... then Megan follow him upstairs..."

"_Have you ever needed someone so bad, __yeah_

_Have you ever wanted __someone_

_You just couldn't have..._"

"Ok, Josh, I'm going to be honest with you because I don't want to start off two years together hating each other, well, no you will probably hate me, but I just hope, even if not by tomorrow, you'll eventually forgive me..."

"Honesty is good."

"I may have asked him... _something_..."

"_Something_? _What_?""I may have asked how he was planning on dealing with your leaving..."

"_Did you ever try so __hard_

_That your world just fell apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad..._"

"_What_?! How could... he was doing so _well_! He dropped begging me to stay _four days_ ago!"

"I'm sorry. Please, I don't want things to be weird between us the next two years..."

"Ok, then they won't. We're partners on this trip, so that's _all _we'll be... _partners_."

"_There you go, midnight promises_

_But they're broken by the dawn..._"

"Josh, I wasn't thinking... I mean, you can't honestly think I'm not going to be upset having been dumped by my boyfriend for his step-brother!"

"Fine, I'll give you that. But how could you? He set up this party for _us_. Us meaning me _and you._.."

"Yes, I know the meaning of..."

"He could have just rubbed this all in your face and did he? No. He wanted to, but instead he apologizes for accusing you, and you know that was not easy for him and you... you slap him in the face..."

"_Every dream I dream is like_

_Some __Kinda__ rash 'n' reckless scene.._."

"I know, I said I wasn't thinking..."

"No you weren't. I wonder sometimes if I even really know you..."

"_What_? I should wonder th-"

"How much good did that stay in that '_mental rehabilitation clinic_' really do?"

"_To give out such crazy love_

_You must be some __kinda__ drug_

_And if my time don't ever come_

_For me you're still the one..._"

"Wow, what an incredibly mean thing to say..."

"Yeah? Maybe_ I_ wasn't thinking."

"_Damned if I don't, damned if I do_

_I __gotta__ get a fix on you..._"

"You hear what he's singing, Mindy?"

"Not really..."

"_Have you ever needed someone so bad, __yeah_

_Have you ever wanted someone you just couldn't __have_

_Did you ever try so hard that your world just fell __apart_

_Have you ever needed someone so bad, so bad..._"

"Those words. He said almost those exact words when he confessed his feelings for me..."

"You know, maybe I better go. _Partner_."

"Yeah, maybe you better."

Watching Mindy leave, Drake began to falter on the cords and words til giving up.

With out giving a second thought, he ran for Josh, ignoring everyone's astonished stares.

Megan gripped Steve harder.

"Really, I'd like my arm back please, I'm losing feeling..."

"Like you need it."

"Ok then."

"S-so what was that about?" Drake asked anxiously.

Josh led him into the kitchen. Though Drake may have been able to ignore the incriminating stares - especially those from Megan - _he _couldn't.

"Why didn't you come to me when she said, well, what she said to you? And right after you apologized?"

"I don't know. I-I was..."

"Drake? Josh?" Audrey interrupted, "You two ok?"

"Uh... uh yeah!" Drake pulled them back into the living room, "I... c-can't you people see he's broken up?! H-he just dumped his girlfriend here!"

"Good cover, man." Josh snuck in.

"Yeah, so long as they buy, I'll sell."

"Oh _no_! No _no_!" Megan cried out, stomping her foot and finally letting go of Steve.

"Thank you!" Steve exclaimed, moving quickly away from her.

"Megan? You liked Mindy that much?" Walter asked.

"Huh? Yeah, sure. _Whatever_." She said, defeated.

"Ok, you know what? He needs cheering up, so let's just forget this for a while and party!" Drake took his place back on stage, "Let's pick it up again!"

Megan stomped her way to Josh, jabbing her finger into his chest.

"You two _will _mess up. Oh _yes_. You _will_."

"Let me guess, " He started, removing her finger nearly stabbing completely threw, "... you and Mindy were both in on trying to get Drake to mess up?"

"No, neither of us _tried_. We just assumed he would."

"Yeah, too bad for you he's good at lying..."

"Too bad for you you're not."

"I'm going to _ignore _that, ya know why? 'cause I'm going to be _gone _for two years anyway and for once,_ we won_." He sang smugly.

"You... oh, you... you _boob_!" She huffed away.

"Yeah, try a new one Megs!" He called after her, "Doesn't bother me anymore."

----------------------------

The party went on for several hours more before the last person left. Both boys dead on their feet.

"Man, I'm only going to get five hours sleep..."

As Josh began obsessing over the day he faced, Drake slipped into his bed.

"Just come to bed." he yawned, patting the free side he left for Josh.

"My bed tonight, huh?" It had seemed Drake's 'Just tonight...' had turned into just about every night that week.

Josh climbed in, curling up close to Drake.

Both let a deep calming sigh as they allowed their bodies to relax.

"That song you sang..."

"The Def Leppard? I'm sorry, I know I said..."

"That's the one Megan found right?"

"Yeah..."

"It was nice. Really nice sentiment. It reminded me of when you... you know, told me how you felt..."

"That was the idea."

Josh rolled onto his side, watching Drake as he was just drifting to sleep.

Feeling Josh's stare, Drake's eyes popped open, and he rolled onto his side to stare back, "What?"

"Nothin'. I was just thinking; you asked me how far I had planned on going with you, remember?"

"Y-Yeah...?"

Josh pushed Drake onto his back, then slowly crawled on top of the too shocked to speak red-head.

He lightly peppered Drake's neck with soft kisses before making his way to his lips for a smoldering kiss.

His body went limp. Even if had wanted to push Josh off, he couldn't.

"J-Josh..." He breathed so lightly in protest when Josh stopped, it was a mere puff of air across Josh's lips.

"You ok?" He asked, sliding his hand up Drake's shirt, "I won't do anything you don't want. Just tell me..."

"I'm... I'm fine, don't stop..."

Josh continued to explore the new territory.

Of course he knew the mechanics were going to be different than with Mindy.

But the goal was the same.

He found himself stopping at just that critical point; not wanting to ruin the mood by asking, but not wanting to ruin it by freaking Drake out either. He shut his eyes and slowly worked his hand down Drake's pajama bottoms, stopping just inside the hem when Drake bucked into him, forcing his hand farther.

"Drake? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Yeah..."

"Wait," Drake reluctantly pushed Josh off to sit up, obvious embarrassment marking his face, "Josh, I've _never_... you know..."

"I haven't either." He assured, "I mean, it's going to be a _little_... no, who am I kidding, _a lot _different than with a girl, but..."

"No, Josh... I've _never_."

Josh shot up from the bed. Drake watched his eyes as they seemed to be searching for an answer.

He looked back to Drake, who was staring up at him; confused and almost childlike.

"I-I don't know..."

"What? It's ok! I mean, I've wanted it to be you for the longest time..."

Josh joined him back on the bed, "I don't know what to say. I'm shocked... and a bit amazed... confused _definitely_... are you sure?"

"_Yes_!" Was all Josh needed to hear.

He grasped Drake's hips, setting him straddled on his lap, "So long as you're-"

Drake cut him off with a forceful kiss going from lips to neck to chest.

"O-ok, since you seem so sure..." He exhaled, his voice trembling.

He couldn't believe how quick he was to rip Drake's pajamas off. He never remembered being this anxious with Mindy.

He pushed the thought clean away as he felt his own pajamas being struggled with.

He lifted just enough Drake was able to slip the bottoms down as he took his shirt off.

"Wow." Drake said softly, taking in the adonis-like form his step-brother had become. Taking Josh by by his ears, Drake forced eye contact, "You know; you do have a big head..."

"Yeah, I _know_, _dude_, _way _old n-... oh... oh!"

Josh once again took Drake by his hips, lifting him just enough, but stopped just as he was bringing him down.

"Josh?! Don't stop...!" Drake exclaimed, punctuating with a quick pinch to his arm.

"Ow! Grow up, will ya! Look," Josh rolled over, trying to keep Drake on with one hand, and reaching into his drawer with the other, "_She who will not be named_ left this in here as a joke...", He said, pulling out a small bottle of lube, "Laughing yet?"

"Bless the creature!" Taking the bottle, Drake squeezed just enough to cover.

"Oh man! That's _cold_!" Josh gripped himself, only to have Drake slap his hand away.

"_I_ wanna do that! It says it will warm up with touch..."

Drake firmly grasped Josh's erection, evening out the now warming lube, smiling as Josh's eyes rolled back followed by his head as his neck gave out.

"Drake, you can stop _now_... _please_!" He cried, prying Drake's hand off.

"I think you're as ready as you're going to get..."

Josh once again lifted Drake, guiding him down slowly.

A slight whimper stopping him cold. Drake's breathing had halted, his face twisted in pain.

"I'm going to go a little faster, ok? I'm just going to do this."

Unable to say or do much else, Drake simply nodded.

Josh gripped Drake's waist tightly, then slammed him down.

Drake's eyes shot open, his body tensed up and his mouth agape ready to scream when Josh quickly slapped his hand over his mouth.

As he found a steady rhythm, Drake seemed to relax.

Once he was sure - or at least thought - Drake was ok, he allowed himself to relax and enjoy the warmth surrounding him.

He tried to move the hand keeping Drake quiet, wanting a better hold around his hips for a quicker pace.

He slid his hand down slowly to make sure Drake was going to stay quiet, when Drake caught him and bit down hard with his last thrust up.

Ready to scream himself, he slapped his free hand across his mouth.

Painful as it all was, there was something about Drake's biting that sent him into complete bliss.

He'd always thought the idea of pleasure and pain was the most ridiculous notion, but the expression on Drake's face was exactly that; a mixture of pleasure and pain.

Once Josh allowed himself succumbed to the mixture of feelings, he was unable to feel Drake's teeth grinding into his hand. The only feeling anymore - all through his body - was Drake.

Drake began to tense and take over the rhythm.

He frantically searched for Josh's hand.Once Josh realized what he was looking for and what he wanted, he gladly obliged; firmly taking Drake's member and feverishly thrusting his hand up and down the full length.

"J-Josh!" He grunted. Trying hard to stay quiet, he threw his arms around Josh's neck, hugging him tight, as his body convulsed with waves of ecstasy.

The feeling of Drake pulsing in his hand - and around him - sent Josh into overdrive.

Unable to take much more, he returned Drake's hug, scraping his teeth along his pale shoulder, he released.

They held onto each other tight, waiting out the pleasurable aftershocks that had taken over their bodies.

Their strength having been drained, Josh fell back taking Drake with him.

"Oh..."

"...my..."

"...God."

"Josh?"

"Yeah? You ok?"

"Yeah, I just... I'll _never _regret this, ok? Don't _ever _think..."

"I won't either."

"_Promise_?"

"I _swear_." He sat up to stretch when a warm, sticky feeling crawled down his chest, "I _am _going to clean up though."

"Bring me some water?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing his shirt, he headed for the bathroom. His head still swimming, he blindly worked his way around the corner, bumping into Walter.

He slowly lifted his shirt to cover, hoping beyond hope Walter hadn't noticed,_ Please, please, please..._

"Wow, you're still up?"

"Uh... n-... ye-... no, no I just..."

"Ok, just asking. Sometimes nerves will do that..."

"N-nerves?"

"Yeah. You're anxious about tomorrow, and I mean, you broke up with Mindy today... what happened to your hand?"

"Huh? N-_nothing_! I must have been dreaming I was eating... or something... yeah... and yeah well, I-I-I'll get over Mindy...", _Josh, you're pathetic._

"Uh-hu... anyway, 'Course you will. Night, pal."

"Night dad." _Oh man that was too close._

After spending what seemed like an eternity getting over nearly getting caught, he made his way back to the bedroom, a bit more cautious this time. With his luck, he'd run into Megan next.

Having safely made it back, he tried to hand Drake the water.

"Drake? Here's your... you awake?"

Crawling into bed, he lay his chin lightly on Drake's shoulder.

"I love you too, Drake."


	13. Chapter 13

A knock at the door sent Josh's heart into a spin cycle, "Drake? Josh?"

"Hang on a sec!" He answered, shoving Drake off his bed.

"Ow! wha..."

"Mom's at the door!"

"Oh!" Drake cried, making a running jump into his own bed.

Making sure both were covered and secure, they gave the ok for her entrance.

"You guys ok? Josh you need to start getting ready..."

"Y-Yeah, we're fine," He yawned and stretched before quickly shoving his mangled hand back under the covers, "Thanks, I must have forgotten the alarm..."

"Yeah, wel-" A sudden pause caught Josh's attention quick and he followed her line of site to a small pile of clothing beside his bed, "Are those Dr-"

Josh jumped from his bed to escort her to the door, "Yeah, ok, mom, we really need to get ready here..."

"Ok, just hurry. I've got a big break-"

"Yeah, _big _breakfast, _great_!" Josh said sharply, quickly shutting the door behind her.

"Oh man, that was _too _close!" Drake said, taking his first breath since her discovering his pjs strewn next to his step-brother's bed.

"No closer than when I ran into dad last night..."

"He didn't...?!"

"No, no clue."

Drake sat up looking over the room from Josh to his bed to the suit cases standing at the ready.

He wasn't ready for this to change and the site of the suit cases sent reality crashing; no matter what may have happened between them, especailly the night before... how could Josh still leave him after what they had just shared?

"You ok?" The sound of Josh's voice, laced with concern sensing the sudden drop in mood, balled him up into a sobbing heap, "Drake?!" Josh hopped onto the bed, hugging Drake tight, "Please don't do this... not now..."

"How can you _still leave_ me?!"

"_What_?!"

"After last night... I mean, I can't believe..."

"What happened to not regretting last night?"

"I'm _not_! I guess I was... I was hoping... I don't know!"

"You were hoping it would change my mind."

"Maybe."

"Even if I wanted to, it's too la-"

"Let's just _do _this, ok?" Pushing Josh away, he jumped from his bed, heading out the door, "Just get it _over _with."

"_Drake_!"

Drake burst back in, swiping his pajamas off the floor, "Good call." He sniffled.

------------------------------------

The ride to the airport was horrendous. Drake wanted nothing more than to throw his arms around his "luva", and beg and plead with him to stay.

Instead, he was subject to their parents banter on about how proud they were of Josh and how sorry they were he and Mindy broke up just before their leaving.

"Who knows, two years is a long time. You and Mindy may be able to work things out." Walter offered, oblivious to Drake's near upheaval of breakfast.

Josh elbowed him, shooting him the "Grow up!" look of evil.

"Ow, jerk!" Drake tried to keep under his breath, but in a small car, everything seemed to echo.

"_Drake_!" Audrey scolded.

"_Sorry_," He spat, "Yeah, who knows, two years is a _long _time. Who knows _what _could happen."

Josh knew that was a direct shot at him; a threat even, "Yeah, who knows." He said through clenched teeth.

"I know what _won't_ happen." Megan snorted, tipping the point of anger and frustration her brothers had for once beaten her and there would be nothing she could do. Aside from posting the little make-out session on the net. But what angered her the most; she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"_Anyway_," Audrey sighed, "Drake, I'm just glad you're _trying _to be happy for Josh..."

"Oh yeah. Couldn't be _happier_; I get my room back, no more _Oprah_, and no more of _this_!" He sneered, flicking Josh on the side of his head.

"_Hey_!" Josh flicked him back, setting off a hail storm of attacks that escalated into them attempting to mangle each other, crushing Megan in the process.

"Hey! Knock... it _off_... you... _two_!" Audrey ordered, flying into the back seat to pull them apart.

Once she was satisfied they were calm, she returned to her seat.

Josh rolled his eyes toward his step-brother, who simply smiled with a quick little wink.

The wink said it all; all that commotion was an excuse for Drake to get close and hold him. Even if they were taking swings at each other.

Josh tried to keep from smiling, but the idea of Drake wanting him so badly he'd go so far to start a fight in a moving vehicle just to be able to touch him...

_No matter what, you just aren't going to make this easy for me are you?_

------------------------------------

Once at the airport, staring at the gate, a surreal calm washed over Drake, _This isn't happening. I'm dreaming. Yeah, I'm __ganna__ wake up, and Josh will be next to me..._

The dazed boy was awakened by his mother's nudging, "You still with us?" he asked, scanning his line of site for some cute girl who may have caught his attention.

"Huh? Y-yeah..."

"Don't you want to say anything to your brother?"

Drake stared straight into Josh's neck, unable to look up into the bright blue eyes he'd fallen so hard for, _When__ did he get so tall?_

Not wanting to leave with nothing said between them, Josh took him aside for what little privacy a bustling airport would allow.

Megan grabbed hold of Walter much the same as she had Steve, _This is it! In a crowded airport in front of parents and everyone in San Diego! They're going to blow it!_

"Um, Megan?"

"Not now, Walter."

"_Huh_?"

"Drake, please say something. At least look at me..."

"W-we said our goodbyes last night." He said stiffly then walked away to take a front row seat to watch the planes take off.

"Ignore him, Josh. We'll talk to him later..." Walter said, "You just... I don't know what to say. I think I know how Drake is feeling..."

"Oh, I don't think so, Walter." Megan smirked, but went ignored.

"Anyway, you'll do great. This will be good for you."

"Thanks dad." He said softly, watching Drake slump farther and farther into his seat, when the boarding announcements seemed to slap him back to consciousness.

Unable to hold it in any longer, he tearfully ran passed them.

"I should say something..."

"Don't worry about him, Josh," Audrey assured, "You know him, once you're gone, he'll get over this..."

"Yeah, I'm already over it. _Boob_."

Josh boarded the plane quickly. A voice in the back of his mind telling him he was wrong. He'd lied to Drake. He could change his mind, this wasn't a commitment. But this was something he wanted for himself. Selfish? No, like Walter had said, it will be good for him.

_And _Drake. A once independent, free spirit without a care who'd somehow become overly dependent on him.

"_I need you... I need you __**way **__more than you need me..._"

He shook the cold memory away and tried to settle back once the plane backed up.

Taking solace in having an entire row to himself, he allowed for a few tears to escape.

Looking out, he could see his family waving their goodbyes.

But the one that mattered most was missing.

He sat back and shut his eyes when a slender finger gave a slight tap on his nose startling him.

Said finger, within inches of his face, pointing out the window.

Drake had snuck to the neighboring terminal. Holding a small hastily scribbled, barely legible sign pressed against the glass; I LOVE YOU TOO, TOO

Josh couldn't help but smile, "He heard me last night." He said to himself. Embarrassed as he'd ever been, he suddenly remembered the good Samaritan who'd pointed him out, "Um, thanks but how did you kn-..."

"Hey Josh." Mindy said softly, taking the aile seat.

"H-Hey... thanks." he said coarsely. He had almost completely forgotten about her.

"Look, since I'm stuck here till we get in the air, will you please hear me out?"

"I have a _choice_? I'm a _captive _audience."

"I thought a lot about what I did, and you had - have - every right to be angry. He was trying to do something nice by including me and like you said, I slapped him. And I'm sorry..."

"You should be apologizing to him..."

"A little late..."

"Email. _Call_. God forbid _pen and pap_-"

"I get the idea, and if it will help us to be friends again, even a little bit, then as soon as we get settled, I'll call or write."

"Actually... yeah, it might help. It'd help more if you'd do it for him and not me..."

"Ah, ok, I get it. Yes, and I promise to mean it. And good, 'cause I know it's only been a day, but I miss you."

Josh wasn't sure how to respond. He really had completely forgotten she was on the same plane. Rather than wrack his brain for something to say that wouldn't hurt her, he simply smiled and nodded.When the seat belt sign went off and the captain made his announcement, Mindy made good her word and went back to her own seat leaving Josh to relax and, with having only gotten an hour of sleep at the most with Drake kicking him, fall fast asleep.

------------------------------------

"_When was the last time you were on a date?_", "_Have you done anything productive today at all?!_", "_What's up with the band? Why don't you get together and get a gig or something?_", "_Get out!_"

All may have well been recorded and put on shuffle. It was all Audrey and Walter seemed to have to say to him the last three months, two weeks, four days - Not that he was counting.

It had even gotten to where he knew which was going to be said even before anyone entered his room.

_His_ room.

_No, our room..._

He aimlessly strummed away a few cords of What It Takes, singing softly along unaware of the persistent knocking at the door.

"Drake?" Walter entered, giving up trying to get permission.

"No, I haven't done anything today..." He sang, weaving the melody into the song, not missing a beat.

"Um, no, it's not that..."

"_Really_? Ok then - no I don't remember the last time I was on a date..."

Walter balled his fists tight, trying to keep his cool, "No. You're mother and I would like to see you downstairs _please_..."

"Nah, I don't wanna..."

Losing it, Walter picked him up over the back of the couch, shoving him out the door and down the stairs.

Once in the living room, Walter plopped Drake down on the couch, thrusting the phone at him.

"_Take it_." He demanded.

"Come on, I don't want to call anyone..."

"There's already someone on it. Take it _now_." Audrey mimicked Walter's demanding tone.

"_Fine_," He groaned, "Hel-... _Josh_?!" Audrey and Walter patted Drake on the shoulder, leaving him to catch up with his brother.

"It's been three months!"

"_I know, man, I'm sorry. It's been hectic..._"

Drake took a good look around to make sure their parents had completely disappeared, not caring in the least about Megan, who still stewed in her loss.

"I miss you..."

"_I miss you too, but.._." his pause sent a cold chill up Drake's back.

"But? Don't _but _me, Josh! You know I didn't mean anything by that threat on the way to the airport!"

"_I know you didn't mean it, it's just... things __**do **__happen..._"

Drake fell silent, as did Josh. He should have known. Mindy was a clever one.Josh began to speak, but Drake, fearing the worst, rested the phone on his chest.

_This is unreal. Why?_

"You know, it's tough to hear someone on the phone when it's not against your ear..."

Drake sat up and quickly spun around to face the familiar voice that was suddenly live.

"J-... wha...?"

"Yeah, it's how a phone works..."

"You... you're _really _here?!"

"Yup! I'm _home_!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around his bewildered step-brother.

"But... _why_?! _How_?!"

"This war broke out, and they thought it best to send us home..."

"A _war_?! Oh man, anyone hurt?"

"Just Mindy's ego."

"What?"

Josh sat back on the couch and casually explained how it seemed Mindy, though having promised to let go and be friends, couldn't.

"She even promised to call or write you and apologize, but when I called her on it, she got defensive and... she just lost it, and so they decided our bickering was distracting to the mission and sent us home."

Drake tried to at least pretend to be sorry. He knew this trip meant a lot to Josh, but having Josh home meant a lot to _him_.

"You already talked to mom and dad... they know you're home?"

"No!" Josh laughed, a huge, mischievous grin plastered across his face, "I did see them leave..."

Drake considered their position for a moment, a grin of his own spreading wide across his face, "_So_... we're _alone_?"

Josh nodded.

"You, um... ya wanna..." Drake asked slyly, motioning toward the stairs.

Without a word, Josh took Drake by the arm, dragged him up the stairs andhauled him into their room.

Throwing Drake onto the bed, he jumped him, caressing his neck with his lips.

"I-I'll take th-this as a _yes_!"

End


End file.
